


Sexy?!

by maleficent_angel



Category: Doctor Who, Merlin (TV) RPF, Sherlock (TV), Supernatural, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Humor, M/M, mainly all dialogue, not the TARDIS, vague refrences to relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 18:36:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3820666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maleficent_angel/pseuds/maleficent_angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone goes on what is meant to be a TARDIS ride but turns out to be something entirely different</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sexy?!

"Okay everyone, into the phone box!" said the doctor, walking towards a blue police phone box  
"You kinky son of a bitch! I don’t swing that way!" Dean said, completely outraged. Sam threw 'the Doctor' a strange look that bordered on a bitchface  
"There is no possible way we would all fit in there" Sherlock said, hardly looking up from his phone. He opened his mouth again and John handed him his phone before he could even ask  
"What's a 'phone box'? Merlin?" Arthur said, looking to Merlin. He seemed to have a better grasp on what was happening here.   
"Really? You want to get all of us, including giant green rage monster, in there?" Tony said, one eye brown raised over his sun glasses as he pointed to the blue box  
"Trust me! You will all fit!" 

*** five minutes later***

"Sam! Get your elbow out of my gut!"  
"soon as you get your foot off my hand, jerk!"  
"Bitch! I'm not standing on your hand!"  
"sorry, that was me, but who ever has their knee in my shin, please remove it"  
"oh, sorry your majesty! But your sword is in my face!"  
"oh, sorry stark, that’s my gun"  
"Natasha!"  
"I said sorry!"  
"is this a bad time to say I'm claustrophobic?"  
"yes, Bruce! I would say this is a very bad time!"  
"wow, Cap. You nervous?"  
"yes, Clint. Extremely"  
"has anyone seen John?"   
"I'm here, Sherlock"  
"your shorter then usual"  
"I'm bent over a bit. Sorry Dean, that’s my elbow"  
"MOTHER OF ALL THINGS MAGIC!"  
"merlin? What happened!"  
"THAT BRBARIAN AND HIS HAMMER HAPPENED!"  
"calm down, friend, it was an accident"  
"WELL YOUR ACCIDENT IS REALLY HEAVY! SO GET IT OFF MY FOOT!"  
"I can't reach it"  
"ARE YOU KIDDING!?"  
"hold on, friend. I'll just bend down a bit"  
"ouch!"  
"Doctor? What happened?"  
"Thor head-butt me, Sam. It's fine"  
"while were talking to the Doctor, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!"  
"Calm down, Dean-"  
"no, I would really like to know too!"   
"yes, I gathered that, tony-"  
"JUST TELL US!"   
"I'm trying John, but-"  
"don’t apologise! Just speak before I stab you with an arrow!"  
"this isn't the right phone booth!"   
"NO SHIT SHERLOCK!"  
"what do I have to do with any of this?"  
"we just need to go back and find the TARDIS"  
"how do you suppose we do that?"  
"well, your majesty, someone just needs to reach the door handle"  
"is anyone close?"  
"I think I can-"  
"no, Natasha, that most definitely in not the door!"  
"oh, sorry Clint"  
"any one else? No? great"  
"if we can all shuffle over bit I might be able to reach"  
"okay, on the count of three"  
"one"  
"two"  
"three!"  
"other way, idiot!"  
"no, your going the wrong way!"  
"for a genius you’re an idiot!"  
"that’s rich coming from a high school drop out!"  
"Merlin, what are you doing!?"  
"sorry, your Majesty-"  
"it doesn’t matter! Just move!"  
"I can't!"   
"this is extremely embarrassing"  
"you think?"  
"shit!"  
"captain? Did you just swear!?"  
"oh, you done it now, Cap. I think you just ruined Sammy's childhood"  
"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU DOCTOR!"   
"not necessary, John. I'm already working my hands towards his throat"  
"I thought hero's didn’t kill people!"  
"I'm not your ordinary hero though, am i?"  
"that’s it! I'm calling Cas!"  
"no Dean! Don’t! he might appear in here!"   
"angels know there surroundings when they land, I'm pretty sure your angel would check before he lands, so we should be safe"  
"I damn well hope so, Doc because if one more person comes in here, I'm gonna shove my bow up your -"  
"Clint!"  
"Sherlock!"  
"what?"  
"what are you doing?"  
"getting your phone"  
"its in your pocket! Not mine!"  
"I put it back before we came in here"  
"Cas! I need you, now!"  
"I'm sure you do, Dean"  
"Sherlock! I've told you about this!"  
Then the door opened, and they fell out in a pile on the ground of moaning bodies and bruised bones  
"cas! I think I could kiss you!"  
"I'm sure you could, Dean"  
"Sherlock!"  
"merlin! Get off!"  
"I cant! There's someone on my legs"  
"thor! Your hammer is getting really close to my face!"  
"sorry, Tony. I'm on his arm"  
"your also on my leg"  
"Sherlock?"  
"yes, Merlin?"  
"I broke your...um, Phone?"  
"oh, that’s fine. I saved everything on the laptop and John paid for it anyway"  
"Sherlock!"  
"if everyone doesn’t get off me right now, I'm going to start getting really angry!"  
Not surprisingly, when the gamma scientist said this, everyone was up quickly and taking a few steps back.  
The Doctor brushed off his coat, then grinned at the group  
"well, we all fit, at least"  
"don’t even start, Doctor"  
"can we go find the TARDIS now and take all these people home?" John asked  
"of course! I remember where it is now!"  
"he remembers after all that" grumbled Tony as they started walking

***ten minutes and thirteen hotdogs later***

"okay, this is definitely the right police box?"  
"yes, John. I'm completely certain this is the TARDIS"  
The doctor stepped forwards, gripping the handle of the door.   
"in we go then"   
When no one stepped forwards, the doctor pouted and slumped his shoulders  
"the effect wont be as good from back there"  
"I'm not to keen on getting us all in a phone box again, Doctor" Natasha said  
"and don’t forget I'm claustrophobic" Bruce added  
"oh, trust me, Doctor" the Doctor said with a grin, pulling the door open "there will be absolutely no reason to be worried that"  
The door swung open with a small squeak, revealing the inside of the TARDIS.  
"well, wasn’t expecting that" Bruce said, eyes wide  
"obviously, by the stunned expression on your face"  
"Sherlock! You weren't expecting it either!"  
"yes I was, John. Obviously when the Doctor expected us all to fit into a police phone box, therefore it would have to be bigger on the inside"  
"is this sorcery?" Arthur said, poking the side of the TARDIS  
The Doctor laughed at Arthur, not really giving him an answer  
"lets get you two home"  
Everyone silently walked in to the TARDIS, slowly looking around.  
"Who are you and how did you get in here!" the Doctor suddenly yelled, the others turned and all saw the dark figure leaning on the console with their back to them.  
Vast amounts of weapons were all suddenly pulled out of a range of imaginative places and pointed at the cloaked figure.  
"Doc, I'm hurt! Planning all this with out me?" the male spoke, throwing his arms wide.  
"Jack!?"  
"Doctor, if only you would shout my name like that while-"  
"Jack!"   
Captain Jack Harkness shrugged, seemily at ease with weapons from all direction directed at him. He glanced around the room, stopping on a few of the occupants and dropping them a flirty wink and teasing grin. On a few he even gave them a full once-over before moving on.   
With half of the male population in the TARDIS looking around awkwardly and fidgeting, the Doctor rushed to the console, maniac grin in place.  
"geranimo!" he cried, pulling, pushing and twisting different things on the console and little lights flashed and things beeped.   
When the TARDIS took off, it was a rather bumpy ride; all the people not grabbing onto the railing sliding around the floor.   
"damn it!" Dean cried with Tony, scrambling over each other to get up  
"move, hunter!"  
"move your prissy ass first!"  
They were roughly brought to there feet when Castiel grabbed them by the shoulder and pulled them up  
"thanks, Cas" muttered Dean, walking towards the door to stand by the Doctor  
"okay, Camelot, here we come!" said the Doctor, pulling the door open  
"you lot are not going to be running around in-" Arthur began sternly, but was quickly cut off when everyone got a look t what was on the outside of the TARDIS.  
A group of strangely dressed people stood in a group, some with expressions of amazement and some blank, one in particular was glaring straight into the blue box.  
The room they were in was clean and well organised, the stars shining behind a giant glass window that showed earth far off  
"umm… hello" said the Doctor, smiling hesitantly as he peered around the door  
The stoic man's glare turned to the Doctor, and he seemed to shrivel as he receded behind Bruce  
"who are you?" the man growled, deep enough to match Cas in pitch, if not deeper  
"we are travellers from different…" Castiel looked to the Doctor, but upon not finding him he turned back to the man dressed in black Kevlar "dimensions?"  
"what are your names?" a woman asked, long black hair tumbling down her back as she stood to the left of the man dressed in black, her leotard not concealing much  
"Dean Winchester, this is my brother Sam"  
"Tony Stark, genius,-"  
"Bruce banner, Gamma radiologist"  
"Natasha rominough, SHIELD agent"  
"Clint Barton, SHIELD agent"  
"Steve Rodgers, Captain America"  
"King Arthur Pendragon of Camelot"  
"Merlin"  
"Sherlock Holmes, Consulting Detective"  
"Doctor John Watson"  
"Castiel"  
"Captain Jack Harkness, here for your service  
"and I'm the Doctor!" the final person cried, jumping from the TARDIS and hurrying over to the group of people standing before them. The others in the TARDIS slowly dribbled from the somewhat comforting safety of the TARDIS.  
"and what are you" another man asked, dressed in red and blue with a large 'S' shield on his chest. He stood to the right of the first man.  
"we are the Avengers"  
"we're hunters"  
"I am an angel of the Lord"  
"and the rest are human" said the doctor "apart from me, of course. I'm a time-travelling alien from outer space with two hearts. And who are you lot?"  
"we are the Justice League, I am Batman"

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't figure out how to end thid so I just batmaned it :)


End file.
